M:  会見はどうでした？
M: How did it go?

S:　司法記者クラブでは、やってもどのメディアも報じられない、やっても傷つくだけだし無駄と聞いていたので予想外に多くの記者とカメラがいて驚きましたが、落ち着いて話せたと思います。終わるとどっと疲れが出て倒れてしまい、食べることもできませんでした。
　会見はゴシップのように報道されました。私と家族の情報はまたたくまに晒されて、嫌がらせや脅しのメールが殺到しました。度重なるインタビューの中で山口氏についての質問も増え、あるインタビューの直後に倒れてしまい、その後10日間、食べることもできませんでした。公表を反対していた家族とは、しばらく連絡を取れませんでした。私は法律や制度の問題を未来のために訴えたかったのに、山口氏とレイプのことばかりが先行してしまいました。ネットで様々なことが書かれ、家族や友人へも危害が加わったらどうしようという恐怖から、友人の家の外から出ることができなくなり、どう生きていけばいいのか、人生を終わりにしようと思いました。しかし性暴力についてオープンに話せる社会にしたいと思ったのに、ここで私が潰れたら、やはり話してはいけない社会だったと証明してしまうことになると思い、話し続けることを決心しました。この頃はもう彼への怒りより、事件後に体験したことのショックというか、社会全体に対する憤りのほうが大きかったのです。それを伝えるために、取材を受け始めました。
　そうするうちに、ロンドンの人権団体が、こちらに来ないかと誘ってくれたのです。本当に救われました。私のことを誰も知らないロンドンで、無心でジョギングして。再び人間に戻れた！（笑）って瞬間だった。この滞在中に本も書き始めました。
 
S:  Some journalists told me that Japanese media will not cover this story and I will be just waste of my time, so I was quite surprised when I entered the press room as there were many cameras and many journalists – more than I thought there would be. I think I was able to speak well enough, in a calm state of mind.
 The press coverage was presented in a very gossipy way. My family photos and information were published. I was receiving threats via email, Facebook messages, and phone calls, too. Every interview threw more and more questions about Mr. Yamaguchi at me; immediately after a particular interview, I collapsed and I couldn’t eat for 10 days…
 I was not in contact with my family for a long time – I wanted to protect them from the press, also they had been against me speaking out about this publicly.
The point of these press conferences, of going public and doing interviews, was to make way for a better future, to address legal issues and policy. The media outlets, however, continued to ask only about the rape and to sensationalize my case. I read horrible things about me online, and received even more threats. I started to fear for my own safety, as well as the safety of my friends and family; at one point I was too scared to step foot outside of my friend’s house. I didn’t know how to keep going, how long I could live like this. I thought my life was over. I felt there was no place left for me in society.
 But I eventually realized that I couldn’t give in; if I was going to work towards building a society in which we can speak openly about sexual assault, I wasn’t going to give up now. I didn’t want society or, the things we consider “taboo”, to win this battle; that would simply perpetuate and forgive sexual assault through the culture of silence. I made up my mind to keep speaking out. At this point, the need to share my experience and to express my resentment towards society far surpassed my anger for him.
 Some time had passed when a woman from a women rights organization in London got in touch with me and invited me to the city. That was my saving grace, I think. And just like that, I was jogging in London, a transplant in a city where no one knows anything about me. I felt human once more… that was a great feeling. I was anonymous. I started writing my book last July, during this time.